(Jupiter FL) Teammates and Front Office personnel told reporters today that they believe long time Cardinal’s jokester and shortstop Brendan Ryan’s “wrist injury” that’s been plaguing him for years is simply “One big elaborate practical joke.” The “wrist injury” has kept him out of training so far this spring and is expected to keep him “day-to-day” until he reveals the gag around the first game of the season.
“This is a pretty good one,” said Ryan’s teammate Adam Wainwright, “I mean he’s pulled some stuff before; the mustache, the over-sized batting helmet, but man, to fake a serious injury for years just to get out of one spring training. Well, that’s just classic Boog.”
Ryan was said to have gone to such lengths as complaining about the “ailing” wrist for a few seasons, enduring what can only be seen as unnecessary cortisone shots as “treatment” and in the past few weeks has taken the joke as far as having unnecessary surgery just to throw people off of his trail. Team doctors said that it would take about 4-8 weeks to “recover” from the gag.
Ryan’s exploits have led his teammates to get in on the fun this spring and has lead to an overall positive attitude in the clubhouse and a welcoming atmosphere for players new to Spring Training. A few of the current starters especially had some fun with 2009 Draft pick Shelby Miller.
“I told him that Branden’s ‘injury’ was fake and that he would think it was hilarious if Shelby went up and just punched him in the wrist,” said Cardinal’s relief pitcher Trevor Miller, “You should have seen the look on Brendan and Shelby’s faces when he actually did it. I mean Shelby looked horrified and Brendan was laughing so hard it looked like he was in some real pain.”
Later, Ryan referred to the gag as “agonizing” and “excrutiating,” while Trevor Miller described it as simply “pretty damn hilarious.”
Ryan is currently undergoing “rehab” and will return by opening day as long as “no serious complications arise.”