A Decade Later: Tony LaRussa Still Can’t Believe Fernando Tatis Hit Two Grand-Slams In One F@*#ing Inning

When asked to reflect on the past decade with the Cardinals, Manager Tony LaRussa had many positive things to say about the organization including the retooling of a pitching staff, the emergance of the greatest hitter in baseball, the World Series win in 2006, and, of course, that game that Fernando Tatis hit two grand-slams in one f@*#ing inning.

“It’s been a great decade,” said LaRussa, “I was finally able to lead the club to a World Series victory, we have emerged as one of the most dominant teams in the National League, we hosted the All-Star festivities, and our front office has shown a constant commitment to winning at the highest level.” LaRussa then rocked back in his chair before saying, “And who can forget that it was only 10 years ago when Fernando Tatis hit those two grand-slams in the same f@*#ing inning.”

Tatis’ feat was a major highlight in the 1999 season for the Cardinals when they went 75-86 and finished 4th in the NL Central. “I really think we peaked too early on that April 23rd day in Los Angeles,” said LaRussa of the 1999 season. “But man, totally worth it. When Tatis walked up to the plate in the 3rd inning, down by 2 runs with the bases loaded, he was probably just hoping for a base-hit to tie the game. That guy had never hit a grand-slam in his life, but little did he know that was all about to change. He hit that ball out and then just 8 batters later, he did it again. By the time that inning was over, he’d become the first man in baseball history to hit 2 grand-slams in one f@*#ing inning,” LaRussa lamented, wiping a single tear from his eye.

LaRussa commented on a myriad of other events of the past decade, such as when the Dodgers gave Fernando Tatis a standing ovation after he hit two grand-slams in one f@*#ing inning on April 23rd 1999, and the look on Cardinal slugger Mark McGwire’s face after Fernando f@*#ing Tatis of all people, hit two grand-slams in just one f@*#ing inning.

The Dodger’s pitcher, Chan Ho Park, who gave up, not one, but two grand-slams to the same f@*#ing player in the same f@*#ing inning was unable to be questioned about the event.

“It’s best for him to block that out of his memory,” said Park’s psychiatrist, Steve Gipson, “It was a pretty traumatic time in his life. It took a lot of treatment for him to start forgetting that day, recover from the severe depression that 3rd inning caused him, and put the bottle down. He’s finally starting to forget.”

“But man,” Gipson continued, “No one else is gonna forget that one. Two grand-slams in one f@*#ing inning.”

Former Cardinal, Fernando Tatis' MLB career will go down in history as being defined by one thing. Actually, by two things in one f@*#ing inning.


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