David Freese Bids to Fill Hole in Starting Rotation.

David Freese

David Freese is making a bid at filling out the Cardinal's rotation as well as any openings in the front office and volunteer concessions.

In a move being called both selfless and desperate, Cardinals 3rd basemen David Freese has volunteered to fill any hole in the rotation left by free agents John Smoltz and Joel Pinero. Freese has no prior experience as a starter, but says he is willing to learn any position to win him playing time for the major league club. When asked about the prospect of transitioning Freese to a starting #4 or #5 pitcher, Cardinals pitching coach Dave Duncan seemed to largely brush off the offering. “Yeah, he keeps showing up to pitcher’s meetings and saying that he could learn to provide either left or right-handed relief if the starter thing doesn’t work out, but there’s not much hope for a guy that only has one pitch; a 72mph fastball/changeup.”

Freese has still remained hopeful for a bigger role in the 2010 Cardinals. “I hadn’t ever caught before that game in September, but Tony let me after I begged him for 3 innings and promised to leave him alone for the rest of the week.” said Freese as he browsed first basemen gloves, “I’m pretty sure I could get the hang of pitching if they’d let me, and since they passed me over for the hitting coach job, I’m really looking for a way to get more involved.”

When asked about Freese’s “anything for the team” attitude, Cardinal’s GM John Mozeliak simply shook his head, “Jesus is he still begging for time? I thought that by telling the media he would have the first crack at third base next season it would calm him down a little bit,” said Mozeliak before departing for the November managers meetings. “I had to do something when I saw him trying on the Fredbird costume in the clubhouse.”

Freese apparently is making a serious effort to stay on the 40-man roster after being juggled back and forth between St. Louis and their minor league affiliate in Memphis. Although Freese posted decent numbers with both clubs, he is inexplicably very adamant about staying in St. Louis for the entirety of 2010. When asked about the transitory season he had in 2009, Freese curled up into a ball in the corner of the clubhouse, shouting “I won’t go back to Memphis! You can’t make me go back! You don’t know what it’s like there!”

At press time, Freese was supposedly filling out applications for an opening on the Busch Stadium ground crew.

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